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December 29, 2004

Yikes, where did all that time go?

I blinked and now it's nearly 2005.

There was a Christmas knitting disaster: I spun a bunch of yarn to make Francis a vest, but it turns out I have an inflated notion of my ability to make yarn that's all the same weight. Sigh. The first skein was perfect. The second and third skeins -- much heavier yarn. Not attractive. This has to all be unravelled, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. The yarn isn't a waste, but it can't all be used in the same project.

I've got both sleeves knit for the Ribby Cardigan, designed by Bonne Marie -- she's right -- the sleeves for this look ridiculously tiny! I'm also about six inches into the back piece. I'm taking her word for it and knitting this in five pieces (two sleeves, two fronts, and a back) and planning to sew it up later. So far the advantage has been that the pieces are easier to manage, knit flat. I'm not convinced that I'll do this in future, but so far it doesn't suck.

I've been traipsing around Williamsburg in service of a slightly s33krit project. Here are a few snapshots I've taken while walking around:

crop all boro 2.jpg


crop chas.jpg

I've also made wallpapers out of several shots I took of fake brick or wood aluminum siding. And I learned, courtesy of some graffiti, that "SAMMY AND BABY HAVE A LOVE STORY" -- I'm dying to hear more. Maybe this could be a short story told in installments, on metal security gates, all around Williamsburg? If someone can write a story in SMS, why not in graffiti?

Posted by Rose at 02:54 PM | Comments (3)

December 15, 2004

Anatomically correct

Daniel sent me a link to use on the blog, then said, "But maybe not." Clearly this was a dare. This entry is the response to that dare.

There are plenty of patterns for knitted dolls; I even knitted a little avatar for myself from a pattern in Interweave Knits:


I've never seen an anatomically correct knitted doll, but I hope a fearless reader will send in a photo or a link. In the meantime, I've found lots of knitted naughty bits -- these will have to do for now!

Here are some breasts:


And here are some more:


These are intended for use as breastfeeding educational aids, though I don't know why a woman who is going to be breastfeeding soon wouldn't just lift her blouse for instructional assistance from her breastfeeding coach. Here's a link for
where you can buy some if you can't figure out how to knit them.

I wouldn't have thought the uterus would be such a fertile source of inspiration for knitting, but there are two patterns, entirely different from each other, for knitted uteri. The first one I saw was a childbirth instructional tool. (That link leads you to a site that sells them.) You needn't buy one, though, you could knit one yourself.


The pattern page, intended for doulas and midwives, informs us that:

When [this uterus is] combined with a baby and a pelvis, topics such as cesarean, posterior presentation, dystocia and more can be discussed.

I don't think "posterior presentation" is considered positive in this context.

This winter's issue of Knitty has a much cuter take on the knitted uterus.


Don't you just want to squeeze it? The author was inspired by her love of Blythe dolls to create a "cute, cuddly uterus doll." She also warns:

It's not completely anatomically accurate. I've taken a few liberties with the general shape and scale, as well as leaving out the ligaments connected to the ovaries. And, of course, the human uterus is not normally bubblegum pink.

Who could mind, though, when the result is so freakin' adorable?

We come now to the image that started this knitted Gray's Anatomy. The crocheted vagina. Perhaps the artist came up with the idea because she thought the pun was funny? Her website is called Crochet My Crotch. She does special orders, but I don't know if you can send in a photo to match details.


How could I not link to this?

Lest the boys feel left out, I've even got a couple of lovelies for them.

The first is a pattern for a knitted penis, with "realistic" cabled veins.


Blogger Queer Joe brings us a pattern for that often joked about, but less often knitted, piece of knitwear: the willie warmer. Here is the awesome photographic proof.

Willie Warmer.jpg

This concludes our tour of knitted naughties; I welcome additions to this gallery, so send along anything you know about that belongs!

Posted by Rose at 09:30 PM | Comments (46)

December 12, 2004

Knitting will keep you warm

I just read about a knitted radiator that's made up of individual rows of enormous hollow metal stitches, through which heating wire can be threaded, or hot water can flow, to create heat in a room.

knitted radiator.jpg

I need one for the store!

Posted by Rose at 12:55 PM

December 08, 2004

Quite a crafty party!

I invited folks to come over to Yarnivore and help decorate my Christmas tree, and this was a wild success. Here's the tree itself:


And now here are some of the ornaments. Em came over and knit fabulous teensy socks for the tree!



And Eileen/Iko came and made awesome obsessive collage art out of postage stamps!


And I threw together some donated cruft from the Church of Craft and came up with an angel for the top of the tree.


Other crafty ornaments on the tree include some plastic-canvas embroidered stars that my mom makes, and a couple of macrame ornaments that Amber brought over because her family "doesn't appreciate them".

Posted by Rose at 02:07 PM | Comments (1)

December 02, 2004

I keep this up, people will start to think this is an actual blog

Hey, y'all! The Metrotech campus, right next door to Yarnivore, has been in the middle of decorating for Christmas for about a month. When they started, I thought, "Wow, they sure are starting early. I hate that." But then decorating dragged on for weeks. So by the time they were done, it was after Thanksgiving, which I think is a reasonable time to put up Christmas decorations. Yesterday they lit the tree, and it's all very pretty.

Today when I was walking to the store, though, I saw a bit of decoration that got added at the very end. The art in the courtyard has been spiffed up with red bows! Here are two cellphone shots I took.



I especially love the bow on the Tom Otterness sculpture!

Posted by Rose at 06:14 PM | Comments (2)

December 01, 2004

Not yarn, but food!

When I'm not thinking about yarn, I'm often thinking about something food-related, whether that's reading about food or planning a meal or wishing I had more time to cook instead of eating junk. But today's entry comes from actual work-related food reading. I'm doing arcane database work on a book for Facts on File, The New Complete Book of Food. (I'd link directly to a page on the book, but the website does some weird frames-related thing that means I don't have a direct URL. You can search on the title on the main page.)

I wouldn't like to say this book is complete crap. Most of the things in it are true, though they are rather boring. But I found myself wondering if the author of this book actually even likes food, and whether she has ever cooked any. Because some of the advice this book gives is craaaaaazy.

To reduce the amount of fat in ground beef, heat the beef in a pan until it browns. Then put the beef in a colander, and pour one cup of warm water over the beef. Repeat with a second cup of warm water to rinse away fat melted by heating the beef. Use the ground beef in sauce and other dishes that do not require it to hold together.

Or taste like beef.

When buying beer: Look for: A popular brand that sells steadily and will be fresh when you buy it. Avoid: Dusty or warm bottles and cans.

Buy Bud.

When buying Brussels sprouts: Avoid sprouts with tiny holes in the leaves through which insects have burrowed.

I'm so glad to be reminded to not eat food that bugs have been eating!

Cooking with butter: To measure a half-cup of butter. Pour 4 ounces of water into an 8-ounce measuring cup, then add butter until the water rises to the 8-ounce mark. Scoop out the butter, use as directed in recipe.

Probably more accurate than just cutting off part of a stick. Certainly prissier.

Ounce for ounce, carob, has more fiber and calcium but fewer calories than cocoa. ­

What's the point here?

Freezing cooked carrots creates ice crystals that rupture these membranes so that the carrots usually seem mushy when defrosted. If possible, remove the carrots before freezing a soup or stew and add fresh or canned carrots when you defrost the dish.

I want to meet the person who takes this advice. So I can mock them openly.

Dates are an unusual fruit: they contain no vitamin C.

I don't have anything snarky to add about this -- I just thought it was cool.

In cooking, the eggplant absorbs very large amounts of oil. To keep eggplant parmigiana low in fat, use non-fat cheese and ration the olive oil.


Preparing eggs: First, find out how fresh the eggs really are. The freshest ones are the eggs that sink and lie flat on their sides when submerged in cool water. These eggs can be used for any dish. By the time the egg is a week old, the air pocket inside, near the broad end, has expanded so that the broad end tilts up as the egg is submerged in cool water. The yolk and the white inside have begun to separate; these eggs are easier to peel when hard-cooked. A week or two later, the egg's air pocket has expanded enough to cause the broad end of the egg to point straight up when you put the egg in water. By now the egg is runny and should be used in sauces where it doesn't matter if it isn't picture-perfect. After four weeks, the egg will float. Throw it away.

Do I have to do this for each egg I prepare?

Look for: Eggs that fit your needs.

Needs. Heh heh heh. I knew I could get this back to knitting somehow!

Posted by Rose at 05:12 PM | Comments (6)