Heaneyland!

Carrot Top looks suspiciously like Michael Jackson with a curly black wig.

In at least one case, the ten-ton weight would be a distinct improvement.

I mean the wig, of course. To flatten out the curls. What, did you think I'd make a cheap shot at Carrot Top, who's enriched the nation with the gift of laughter?

Also, a question for the group: I've been invited to play in a celebrity golf tournament. Any idea how long it will take?

You know, I heard Carrot Top on the radio once, when he was just chatting and not performing, and he struck me as pretty well-spoken and intelligent.

Also, though I am not proud of having watched Tough Crowd, and I'm less proud of having seen Carrot Top shirtless on it...the man's got a pretty impressive physique.

I'm not one of Carrot Top's detractors... but braying fool was a pretty funny comment.

Carrot top... it's like my friend. He's a redhead, and he's really really skinny and anarexic, and I don't think it would make much difference if I dropped a ten-ton weight on him.
Now I'm curious. Gimme a ten-ton weight.