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September 22, 2006

When the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me

On the plus side:

Feeling calmer and better. Gynecological ultrasound showed fibroids, but nothing horrible beyond that. Since the acupuncture stuff we're doing is supposed to help with that as well, I'm not too concerned. Although fibroids are hideous and weird. (I'm clearly going to have to work on some positive visualization exercises here.)

Reading a really good book, Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be, by Lama Surya Das. I wasn't actually looking for books on Buddhism, but this one jumped out at me. It's at just the right level for me; I'm not finding it cloying or preachy or hard-to-take at all, and instead have been finding it very calming and reorienting.

On the minus side:

I *haven't* escaped the fall allergy season, and in fact, have some EAR involvement as well as sinus and head pain. It really is always something, you know? Acupuncture=magic, though, so I feel much less crappy than I did this morning. Still fairly crappy, but not in-tears-from-ear-pain crappy. Talk about suffering in the world: I can't imagine being an infant or toddler and having an ear infection. It's bad enough to have one as an adult, but to not have words for your pain? To not realize that you'd eventually get better? You'd think the world was coming to an end.

Oh, and another lesson on loss and suffering: I was reading in the Times about farmers in California who've lost their crops because there aren't enough pickers (since they are almost all illegal immigrants). One man lost nearly 2 million pounds of pears that have rotted. He told the reporter that "he would rather bulldoze the pear trees than start preparing them for a new season."

“It’s like a death, like a son died,” said Mr. Winant, 45, who cares for the small orchard himself during the winter. “You work all year and then see your work go to ground. I want to pull them out because of the agony. It’s just too hard to take.”

Man. The photographs with the article were heartbreaking, too.

Posted by Rose at September 22, 2006 01:40 PM


What is it with everyone having uterine fibroids? You're the third person I've heard about in the space of three months. I guess those ads in the subway are true? 25% of women have them? Ugh. Sorry to hear about that. On the up side, the first person I heard about had hers removed in a non-surgical procedure and feels all better now. So there's hope, I guess?

Posted by: Cindy at September 23, 2006 12:21 AM

earaches are indeed so hard for kids. warm willow/garlic oil is the magic salve...

sorry to hear about the fibroids. no fun.

wonder why the pear guy didn't call harvesters or freecycle or just advertise in the paper, pick and donate what you can, something like that? sounds like my homestate is going to start swinging away from the ahnold's way of thought sooner rather than later, thank goodness.

Posted by: gotcha at September 23, 2006 01:49 AM

oh, sweetie! i haven't been back here in a week or so... missed all those sad posts behind this one.

i'm so sorry things have been so shitty. i'm glad you're able to keep working towards healing and balance; i know how hard it is to do that when you're in the valley like that.

can you find a way to do something for folks less fortunate than yourself? sometimes a little soup-kitchen volunteering or meals-on-wheels deliveries would help me put things into perspective... aching hip joints were pretty insignificant compared to wheelchair-bound folks. i know you're swamped, but i just thought i'd put it out there...

xoxo from the midwest!

Posted by: gotcha at September 23, 2006 01:54 AM

Sweetie, I'm putting some songs on a CD for you. But I also have a book on fibroids (something I designed), if you want it. It's called, creatively, Fibroids. Lemme know.

Posted by: I. at September 23, 2006 12:52 PM

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