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September 17, 2006

I'm feeling like a criminal

Oh, it's been a bad day emotionally.

Just can't quite keep my shit together. Woke up on the wrong side of everything; I didn't wish I were dead, I wished the world would end, that everything would just fucking STOP.

But I did a little yoga, and bawled in the shower, and took an Ativan, and got myself on track enough to go see the new therapist. Which was intense. Interesting. I feel kind of optimistic about this new type of therapy, but it'll take a little getting used to.

Walked around the Atlantic Antic with Francis, and met up with a couple of friends, and that was pleasant. Ran into another friend, and took pictures of her adorable daughter, which cheered me a little.

But my plan to go into the city and get some work done on $pread was foiled by ineptitude on all sides, and I ended up going to midtown but coming back.

My head hurts, and it's been hurting off and on since yesterday, and I feel weepy, and I want to DO SOMETHING, to effect change, to not feel the way I feel, but everything seems awful and pointless. I think I'll go read, although what I'm reading, The Dispossessed, is kind of depressing.

Miserable. I'm just utterly miserable. I feel like an inconsolable failure today. I wish it were bedtime.

Posted by Rose at September 17, 2006 06:37 PM


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