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September 16, 2006

You really can't give love in this condition, still you know how you need it

It's not all gloom and doom around here. I managed to find some time to do a little crafting. I used a bleach pen to put the symbol for "OM" on a t-shirt, to wear to yoga class.

Yes, I'm officially a tool.


I've also cut and recolored my hair since the last time I posted a picture of myself here. I like the pink. Maybe pink can be my new vice, for 35. (I've been taking suggestions for new vices; I figure I'm due for a new one.)

Yoga still helping lots and lots. Reading about yoga, strangely enough, has also been helping. Yoga Journal had some amazingly appropriate articles in their current issue. Still considering meditation and/or Buddhism. Freedom from want would be a damn powerful thing; I'm not at all sure I'd be recognizable as *me*, honestly. I've been want-driven my whole adult life.

Having a bad, gloomy day nevertheless. Edgy and irritable this morning, mopey this afternoon. Feeling helpless. Wanting to fix the past.

Speaking of the past, one of the yoga teachers made me cry the other day. She was talking about focusing on the breath, and on how each inhalation is accepting the present, and each exhalation is letting go of the past. Then she said that even more importantly, each exhalation was *letting go of the breath*. "The breath is our most precious thing, it keeps us alive, and yet in every moment, we are letting go of it. If we can do that, we can let go of anything else."

Me: Silently weeping as we sat in the mudra of calm abiding.


Posted by Rose at September 16, 2006 04:11 PM


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