March 18, 2004

Referral logs = hilarity

Sometimes I just want to write blog entries to answer the questions that people who reach my blog are clearly trying to have answered. (Kind of like an advice column that would solve problems overheard from people talking on cell phones: advice for people who didn't ask for it.) Take the guy searching for "installing morrissey font". He would have done better to just search for "morrissey font", and he would have found this link to a font based on Morrissey's handwriting. Although he probably wouldn't know how to install it.

So that's a pretty niche thing to be searching for, but at least it's comprehensible. Fonts. I like fonts. Maybe not fonts of Morrissey's handwriting, but whatever. Sometimes, though, I have no idea what people could possibly be looking for. Like this Google query:

antitheft device monkey

A...device to prevent people from stealing your monkey? Or maybe a monkey that's used as an antitheft device? Like, you train it to watch your car, and if someone starts trying to break in, it jumps on them and starts screaming and screaming and screaming and pokes them in the eye, etc. I think such a system would be much appreciated by one's neighbors over the traditional five-minute siren that goes off if sunlight bumps into the fender.

Posted by Francis at 10:57 PM

I must remember not to read your blog while eating. I started laughing and almost choked to death on my granola bar after reading the paragraph about the monkey antitheft device.

I do hope you plan to post this to the monkey mailing list.

Posted by: debby at March 19, 2004 04:09 PM

Don't die, I don't have that many readers.

Posted by: Francis at March 20, 2004 04:23 AM