Comments: The really privileged prisoners get their names on their uniforms

Wait, maybe I can explain this. Ummm... Let's see. On the wall, those aren't bullet pocks, they're...little smiley face stickers placed there by a whimsical prisoner. Those aren't blood stains, either; they're...ketchup drips. They had a cookout in the prison yard last week, and they used those upside-down ketchup bottles with the tiny holes that squirt ketchup under pressure, and it always ends up squirting too far and making a mess. That's not jelly on the guard's face, it's ketchup. He was at the cookout. It wasn't last week, it was just today. And he's having a donut for dessert. He has ketchup on his face because they don't have any mirrors there (broken shards make excellent shivs), and that surly smoking prisoner sure as hell isn't going to tell him. Ebbers is having some thyroid issues (hence the Runaway Bride eyes) and is too concerned about that to notice if the guard needs a napkin. He can't hand him a napkin, anyway, thanks to the stocks. I leave it to you to suss out the underlying meaning behind all this.

Posted by Orange at July 15, 2005 02:46 PM

What's the four-holed stocks next to Ebbers' standard three-holed version? Is that for arms and legs, but not head? Is that actually a thing?

Posted by neilfred at July 15, 2005 06:40 PM

There is indeed.

And Orange, you missed the obvious. The "ketchup" stains? Them's the leftovers from tomatuh-chuckin'.

Posted by Dart at July 15, 2005 10:23 PM

And look at the holes Bernie's hands are in. They're bigger than his hands -- well, that is if his eight fingers weren't flopping around so much. What kind of fictional correctional system is this anyway?

Oh, and the observation about the jelly donut? I laughed out loud.

Posted by jason at July 18, 2005 07:07 PM