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September 19, 2006

I may never see the light

Grr. I've had three doctor appointments in the last week, for checkups, and each of those has led to another appointment.

Physical --> Cardiologist
Optometrist --> Retina specialist
Gynecologist --> Ultrasound

In each case, the doctor in question has said that I "don't have anything to worry about," but that they "want to be sure" about whatever thing it is (my heart, my optic nerve, my uterus). I can't actually tell if it's just ass-covering or real concern. It feels a little like I'm the buck that's getting passed. Also, the part where the doctor wants me to be worried enough to make another appointment, and then to take a couple of hours to go see a specialist, who's going to make me fill out forms and repeat medical history and do fancy tests, but to not be so worried that I, you know, *worry*, well, I think that's totally irritating.

I'm in a terrible mood already, and I don't need all this additional crap. And I find myself pissed off at my parents for even having me: Why the fuck did they have a child when they were just going to pass on their legacy of emotional and physical defects? Stupid selfish jerks.

Today? I hate everything.

[Edited to add: My god, could I sound any more like a 15-year-old? Maybe embarrassment will finally be the thing that jars me out of my wretchedness.]

Posted by Rose at September 19, 2006 05:12 PM


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