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August 29, 2006
I want so badly to believe that there is truth, that love is real
The fun never stops around here.
My mom's sister died this morning. I knew from talking to my mom this weekend that the end might be near, but I've heard that before, regarding my aunt, so I was a little surprised that it was true this time. I guess it's always true eventually.
I feel kind of guilty for not being more upset than I am. I'm sad, but mostly for my mom and my cousins; my aunt sounded like a real headcase, and I never knew her very well. Like my mom, she talked in platitudes and clichés, and I never found her to be someone I desired more of a connection with.
And now I'm speaking badly of the dead. Go, me.
I got a surprise email from a different aunt last week, one of my daddy's sisters. She sent along a photograph of my dad, his three brothers, and his brother-in-law and nephew.
That's my dad, third from the left. Of the four brothers, two are dead, one's in an asylum/state hospital, and the last one is doing fine, living in Arkansas. At least one of the four made it to a happy, ripe old age.
Looking at that picture is weird for me, because I always thought of my dad as a big, strong guy, and here he looks right scrawny. But I realized that this picture was probably taken in the early '60s, when he was still working desk jobs and had a drinking problem, and was long before his decades of manual labor. Lifting and toting will fill out a guy.
Posted by Rose at August 29, 2006 05:51 PM
Comments
Sorry to hear about your aunt. I see how the repeated crying wolf by your relatives could numb you. "I guess it's always true eventually" is quite profound.
This picture is a treat...your father seems to be the most plaintive of the group. It's interesting, looking at old pictures of parents, isn't it? I'm always amazed by how beautiful my mother looks, and how hopeful my father looks.
*hugs*
Posted by: Lorinne at August 30, 2006 12:09 AM
That's a great photograph.
[Insert platitudes and clichés here.]
Posted by: I. at August 30, 2006 12:57 AM