December 25, 2007

And the crisped rice in this Nestle Crunch represents the crown of thorns, which would also be crunchy if you bit it

Recently some friends of mine performed in a Christmas cabaret at a local church; Lorinne came back from it with some candy canes, which were handed out to everyone, and which were each accompanied by a card containing these little-known facts about candy canes:

The Christmas Tradition of the Candy Cane

Did you know that the Christian candy cane was created to honor Jesus? If the candy is held upright, it is the shape of a shepherd's staff, which the shepherd uses as he watches over his sheep. Jesus is our shepherd. If the candy is turned upside down, it becomes the letter J for Jesus. The Bible tells us that by Jesus' stripes we are healed. Jesus was beaten and stripes were put on His back when He was crucified in payment for our sins. So the candy cane was made of red and white stripes to represent the blood of Jesus, which washed away our sins and makes us pure and white as snow. One bold stripe represents one God who is Father of us all. The three fine stripes represent the Trinity: one God, who has revealed Himself to us in three ways: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

So steer clear of any candy canes that don't have three thin stripes. Leave those for the Unitarians.

The card also refers the reader to Luke 2:8-11, which reads:

Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear. The angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord. And his soul is as one that is minty and refreshing."

Anyway, I hope that helps you enjoy your Christian candy canes. The rest of us will just have to make do with our secular candy canes.

Posted by Francis at 11:09 PM

And these SweeTarts candy canes are the candy canes of the Devil. The pink stripes represent lust; the dark green, envy; the dark red, wrath; the yellow, greed; the light blue, sloth; the dark blue, gluttony—and of course the overall rainbow appearance stands for pride.

Posted by: Orange at December 26, 2007 12:03 AM

I shudder to think which of Jesus' bodily functions would have been represented by our candy canes.

Posted by: mamagotcha at December 26, 2007 12:41 AM

The other day, when I first saw this entry, I skimmed the excerpt from Luke, because I am a heathen. And then when I checked your blog to see if you'd updated it recently, you slacker, I noticed a sentence in the excerpt I strongly suspect is not in the King James version. (Perhaps there's a Spangler version I'm unaware of?)

Posted by: Debby at December 28, 2007 06:36 PM

Also not very Christian: Fizzywinkle's peppermint pants.

Posted by: Francis at December 29, 2007 12:47 PM

If I may make the obvious Simpsons reference:

Mmm... sacrilicious.

Posted by: Jim at December 30, 2007 03:50 AM

Disconcertingly, the Spangler version of this story adds "When you break the cane, it reminds us that Jesus' body was broken for us." It fails to then list other things that one might do to a candy cane, or which of Jesus' trials they signify. Frankly, I'd have thought an Everlasting Gobstopper a better sugary metaphor for Jesus than a candy cane, but I'm no theologist.

Posted by: Scott at December 30, 2007 11:01 PM

I was aware of the candy cane analogy, but I hadn't heard the part about the fine stripes. I consider that to be extra style points.

Posted by: Douglas at January 1, 2008 12:17 PM

Don't forget, for the sake of the pope, that candy canes are longer than they are wide, symbolizing the fact that Jesus was a boy and so women can't be priests, so there.

Posted by: Dan Hoey at January 3, 2008 05:04 PM

My second a single wow items and i really like them just as considerably as the very first. Happy with the two choices. They're trendy, but oh so nice.

Posted by: wow items at October 22, 2013 02:55 AM
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