December 09, 2004

I did drink a lot of Chardonnay, but I'm not exactly red-nosed

Today was Cargo's holiday party, and I helped represent the copy department by singing a little song to the tune of "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" (or, as it is more popularly known, "The Island of Misfit Toys"). It went over quite well. I don't know if I'll record a home demo of it, but here are the lyrics.

The Island of Misfit Products

We're on the island of misfit products;
Here we never get seen.
We want a thoroughly and conscientiously copyedited caption
In Cargo magazine.

In a store full of stuff, if you're not cool enough,
You'll sit on the shelf and attract bits of fluff
When Christmas time is here,
The spendiest time of the year.

Each review
Gives us less than two
Stars and says "P.U."
No, we won't go far with bad PR.

A web plug for iPod, a callout for Guess,
But nothing for us 'cause we failed to impress,
And Christmas time is here,
The cut-throatest time of the year.

How would you like to be an MP3 player...with no audio out jack?
Or an HDTV...with a 12-inch diagonal screen?
Or a Karl Lagerfeld jacket...with a Velcro closure?
We're all misfits!
How would you like to be a sport utility vehicle...with little pink bunnies painted all over it?
Or a moisturizer...that causes psychotic episodes?
Or a toothbrush sanitizer?
We're all misfits!

Yes, we're on the island of unwanted products;
We all got put here 'cause nobody bought us,
And Christmas time is here,
So we're deeply discounted this year.

Posted by Francis at 08:23 PM | TrackBack

Toothbrush sanitizer?

Posted by: David. at December 10, 2004 08:52 AM

I was wondering how long it would be before someone asked about the toothbrush sanitizer. That was, in fact, the main in-joke in the song. Cargo is actually featuring two toothbrush sanitizers in its next issue -- the one you linked to and this one. And, honestly, a lot of people in the office, once they started considering the overall germiness of bathrooms and the thought of a little fine mist settling on everything every time one flushes the toilet, started thinking that maybe a toothbrush sanitizer wasn't such a bad idea. But it just sounds like such a goofy concept, much like Douglas Adams's telephone sanitizer.

Posted by: Francis at December 10, 2004 10:16 AM