September 24, 2004

If George Lucas had directed those films, we could find out these things

I may be out of the habit of checking McSweeney's every day, but Jon isn't, and his watchful eye prevented me from missing the latest from Tim Carvell (also a contributor to the new Daily Show book, which looks pretty damn funny). My suggestion: wouldn't The Towering Inferno be improved if it were entirely performed by Muppets? On fire?

Posted by Francis at 03:45 PM
Comments

That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing. (I should remember to look at McSweeney's more often myself.)

Posted by: Jette at September 24, 2004 05:46 PM

If you were George Lucas, and had you directed The Towering Inferno, you could insist that your original vision *was* to cast the movie using an all-flaming-muppets cast. (You would explain that the studio execs were worried that a flaming-muppets-themed movie might be in poor taste so soon after Vietnam.)

Then, being George Lucas, you could digitally manipulate the film so as to replace O.J. Simpson with Rolf the Dog. (But that's just a suggestion -- don't let me interfere with your artistic vision or anything.)

Posted by: Prof. Bunsen Honeydew at September 24, 2004 06:17 PM

Films reconsidered:

"City Slickers" - A week out on the range helps one man put up with his tyrannical boss, another one agree to his wife's wish to have a child . . . just think what two weeks would do!

"Cocoon" - Does anyone remember what the aliens' message was . . . in fact, does anyone remember this film at all?

"Field of Dreams" - Well, yes, but . . . they cheated. . .

"The Fisher King" - He likes her because he sees her walking to work every day and she's pretty. But what if, once he met her, they didn't have much in common?

"The Matrix" - You didn't really see this movie. You just thought you saw it.

Posted by: Eileen at September 24, 2004 09:52 PM