Heaneyland!

"What a lovely ring!" "Thank you, it's my great-aunt."

Here's a company that can create diamonds from carbon gleaned from the cremated remains of your loved ones. It sounds so much like a hoax, but if it is a hoax, it's one that's been reported as fact in multiple news sources. Here are some quotes from the site:

To create your LifeGem, we now place this graphite in one of our unique diamond presses replicating the awesome forces of nature - heat and pressure. The longer the press time, the larger the rough diamond crystal that results.

"The awesome forces of nature" is a little hyperbolic, but at least they don't describe the process by saying "it's just like a great big hug that lasts for eighteen weeks."

You can also immortalize your pet.

Why choose a beloved pet LifeGem?
Because I?ll always remember...
how you preferred a milk jug to an expensive toy.

And the only way for me to remember that is with an expensive diamond.

As noted by the Cremation Association of North America, the U.S. cremation rate is on the rise from its current position of 26% to a forecasted rate of 36% by the year 2010.

And we believe we have just found a way to solve the problem of cremation not being so profitable to the funeral industry.

Oh, it's all just so gruesome. Why not just wear their teeth around your neck? Anyway, I don't need to be turned into jewelry. Just preserve my brain in a jar and I'll be fine.

(Via New Yorkish.)

Posted by Francis at 01:24 AM