Heaneyland!

You will drink Snapple. In bed.

Rose and I went out for dim sum this afternoon, and inside our fortune cookies, we found these:

It took me quite a while to figure out that "BFF" stood for "best friends forever". Not a commonly used abbreviation among the folks that signed my yearbooks. Anyway: advertisements in my fortune cookies? With lame jokes? I don't know. If people are going to try to come up with some interesting fortune cookies for a change, I'd like to see ones that make some really daring predictions:

"You will learn to make objects explode with your mind."

"You are homosexual. If you don't think you are, try harder."

Although I guess the trend of including lottery numbers on fortunes is not far removed from that line of thought. "You will win a million dollars if you play these numbers. Oh, you didn't win? Look, I'm just a goddamn cookie, all right? Geez. But I do have a hot tip on the third race at Belmont."

Posted by Francis at 07:57 PM